This is a guest post for my friend Mary Evelyn’s amazing blog, What Do You Do, Dear?
Her son, one of my favorite humans, just got his first wheelchair. I wanted to write Sim a letter about what being in a wheelchair is like, so he and his mom can read it together later on when he starts to get older and ask questions.
Enjoy! And read the rest of her blog instantly.
I’m Beth. I’m friends with your Mom and Dad. I go to Church with your Uncle Joel and Aunt Sarah. I made you a video where I sang Happy Birthday to you when you turned one. I bet you could tell that I’m very, very silly. Most people figure it out right away.
Your Mom wrote a blog post about you getting your first wheelchair the other day. I watched that video she made, and it looks like you already know just what to do. Awesome!
It is fun to use your chair to learn ways to do things your friends do that work for you. You want to zoom around the playground? You can. You want to twirl around in a circle for the heck of it? You can. If there’s something you want to do, there’s a way to figure out how you can do it.
As a bigger kid who uses a wheelchair, too, I can tell you: having a wheelchair can be great. It helps you get around more easily by yourself. You can keep up better with your friends who are walking, running, or playing with you; especially if they are pushing your chair during playtime. You will meet a lot of great friends to have fun with. I have no doubt.
But there are going to be some people you meet that won’t understand wheelchairs or what it is like to use one. They won’t understand that you have your own way of doing things that works for you. They might say that there is something wrong with you, that you’re sick, or that you can’t do something they can do. They might tease you. They might laugh at you. They might look at you funny. They might feel sorry for you. They might call you names. They will make choices that hurt your feelings.
When I meet people who act like this, I am angry. I’m sad. If they just got to know me a little, they wouldn’t choose to say and do things like that! It’s okay to be upset when people hurt your feelings. Just do your best to remember the good friends and helpers all around you who love you very much.
You may meet some other friends with wheelchairs, some who use crutches or a walker, some who have service dogs to help them with seeing or hearing or reaching things. Some of your friends might not have wheelchairs or walkers or crutches or service dogs, but there are things they will need help with, too.
We can all help each other, we can all be friends with each other. We can all learn from each other. There are two things we should always remember to say, “Thanks for helping me!” and “What can I do to help you?” Helping each other makes us all better friends in the long run.
Being in a wheelchair does make us different from a lot of our friends. Feeling like you’re different can be scary. But it is nothing to be scared of or sad about. God makes each one of us special. There is only one me, there is only one you. All of our friends are special, too. We are all different from one another. And that’s just it. Because no two of us are alike, everyone is fabulous, everyone is wonderful; everyone is fantastic.
So, keep your chin up, Sim. Keep on rolling. Keep on being fabulous, fantastic you, no matter what.
With Lots of Love,