Confession: when I was little- as a precursor to my excellent ability to stay within the realm of reason when it comes to matters of the heart-I wanted to marry Batman. Not Michael Keaton; the Dark Knight himself. He had captured my heart and driven away with it in his rocket-powered car as fast as he could.
To this day, I wonder if he still has it: locked in a vault somewhere deep inside his muti-million dollar estate; or perhaps amidst other quirky gadgets and gizmos, in his cavernous secret hideout.
Although I don’t think the six-year-old me would have been prepared for Bruce’s emotional baggage, I do recognize that some things start early, when it comes to what intrigues us about others. . . and it’s nothing material.
I have never been one for fancy cars or houses: I tend to break and lose anything, especially if it is something of real value.
What I think is cool-and enviable- about Batman and others like him, is his air of mystery. He was content with only a few people knowing his secrets. He never shouted his good deeds from the rooftops, and often did his most noble things in secret.
I have always been jealous of the mysterious people; I wish I had their ability to move about in the shadows, and to be content with only showing the world a little of who they are. I am about as difficult for people to read as the big E atop the Eye Chart.
In the same vein, I have never been good at being aloof, coy, or playing hard to get. Who I am, what I think, and how I feel just seem to explode out of me, whether I give voice to my inclinations or not.
Apart from “biting my tongue” and batting my eyelashes, I have no idea how I-an unabashed extrovert– could get anywhere in my quest to be mysterious.
I don’t want to evade questions, or put up walls between myself and others. But it would be neat to be able to keep people wondering; to figure out a way to hold some cards while putting others on the table. It’s tricky, when it comes to the interpersonal: I am always ready to know and be known. But there are times when the thought of a mystique is appealing.
I don’t really have any well-defined answers or practicals at the moment. It’s a bit of a head-scratcher for someone who can keep anyone else’s secrets but her own.
I think a black cape might make my brainstorming a lot more effective. Maybe I’ll get one and get back to you on my progress. Or maybe I won’t.