and i will try (to fix you)


Some people don’t like words being put in their mouths. Sometimes, it does get us into trouble. But sometimes, it is what we need. And once again, I lean on a musician to speak for me. Chris Martin (and the rest of Coldplay) get the honor this time.

Those of you who have nothing better to do than Facebook stalk me (all 3 of you) may have notice a little listlessness. A little disappointment. A little brokenness. And your astuteness serves you well.

I will have to spare a lot of details to protect the privacy and the trust of the individuals involved. But the long and short of it is that my family is experiencing pain and difficulty. Some dear friends are shouldering some heavy burdens. It seems everyone I’ve been talking to lately is grappling with significant losses and frustrations; life seems to be dealing out challenges by the handful, and no one  has gone wanting.

I haven’t come out unscathed. But I think the most difficult feeling I have had recently is the one that comes when we are faced with our own inability. Not that I focus on that all the time, of course. But what I mean is that sometimes – a lot of the times- the situations that life puts before us, or before the ones we love, are outside of our control, our capability, and even our understanding. Where do we go in these situations? What do we do?

Here’s my guess:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

At this point, for my own challenges, this is about my only working coping strategy right now. All my personal emotional resources are exhausted. In short, I must believe that the Poor in Spirit can indeed claim Heaven as their own. For that- and the One dwelling there- is my hope and my strength [if only I could remember to make that the case when things aren’t so hard].

So, to all who have been bringing me their struggles to sort through- I have not forgotten them. I have not dropped or discarded your burdens. I am just asking for your love and patience while I figure things out. I am doing my best to place everything in His hands first and hope that He can show me a way to fix it. And whatever crazy tricks He puts up my sleeve, I will give them a go. I don’t know if I can fix any broken parts, fill in any holes, or mend any tears. But I’ll try.

*

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above earth or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I…

Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

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