on running a webcomic, and other things i’m glad i don’t do.

I got to thinking the other day- a dangerous pastime, to be sure. And while I am loving the pursuit of awakening and in-humoring other peeps through scribed verbalisms, I realized there are a few things I am pleased as punch I don’t have to do with my life:

  • I would hate to work for Google, because people would always come up to me asking me ridiculous questions, and expecting me to answer them 245,000 times in.00056 seconds.
  • I could never be a chef, because I screwed up a bowl of Easy Mac in college- leaving my confidence in my culinary abilities understandably shaken.
  • I will probably not become an astronaut, because I would probably get scared when we were about to blast off. . .and pee my pants.
  • The circus would not be a good fit for me: my dual phobia of ferris wheels and clowns would mean I’d spend most of my time hiding behind the Tilt-a-Whirl.
  • Any and all athletic pursuits are out of the question: I just can’t bear the thought of making others look bad.

In the process of enumerating such minutia of the universe, this crystalline realization emerged: “I’m glad I don’t run a webcomic.” Don’t get me wrong, I love webcomics. They are a great way for Internet addicts like me to feel more accomplished without actually doing a single productive thing. They also increase your knowledge of infinitesimal pop culture references by a factor of approximately 2.3. And let’s not forget, they make you sound really hip at parties. . . that are hosted and/or overrun by gamers and geeks.

The more I read them, the more I have to face the music: I am not very webcomical. I know hardly any Intrawebz jargon and am grossly inept in almost everything related to programming, web design, and illustration, which are pretty much the only things you need to be able to make one. So it really isn’t the best career path for me.

To tell you the truth, I found the whole thing very liberating. See, I had an epiphany: if you are the author of a webcomic, you are essentially required to be clever; your readers expect it, anticipate it, and recommend your work to other people on basis of it. That’s when it dawned on me: as long as I do not run a webcomic, I am under no obligation to be clever, funny, or profound- which is a set of non-standards I am happy to meet as a novice blogger!

I am happy to let the good web-comicers do their job! They make the Internet an even nerdier- and therefore more wonderful- allow me to recommend a few to you:

  1. xkcd: my favorite webcomic: because you cannot go wrong when combining snark and stick people. or if you can, Randall Munroe hasn’t done it yet.
  2. Questionable Content: a serial comic about indie kids: highly addictive; make sure you start from the beginning (warning: there is a reason for the title.)
  3. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: hilarious, alinear, makes me giggle
  4. Dinosaur Comics: comics, with dinosaurs in them; freakin’ great
  5. A Softer World: heavier topics, beautifully illustrated with color photography and clear, simple typeface

I know you’ll enjoy them- and I apologize in advance for enabling your newfound addictions.  And by “I’m sorry” I mean “You’re welcome.”


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