It’s that time of year again: the time to wallow in guilt over how much we enjoyed ourselves during the holidays- and the time to therefore resolve to be much more reasonable, much less enjoying-ourselves types of people in the coming 364 days. That’s right- it is Resolution Season! And ever the bandwagon jumper, I have my own lot to share with you! [I know- that is so very mainstream of me! And for that I beg the scene kids for forgiveness!]
But, lo! There is a twist. Perhaps it’s the lingering cynicism from a rather disappointing 2009, or perhaps I just want to flip the script on you when you least expect it. [Allow me to pause for a moment so that you might look up “flip the script” on UrbanDictionary.]
Enter the Anti-Resolution. To write an Anti-Resolution. all you must do is phrase your resolution in the negative. Thus, “I will lose weight” becomes something like “I will not eat a gallon of ice cream in one sitting every time Law & Order is on” [Hypothetically speaking, of course. . .]
After some thought- but not too much, I assure you- I offer you 10 of my very own Anti-Resolutions for MMX: [Sometimes I like to get a little Caesarean in my diction. . . and in my choice of salad dressings.]
1. I will not run late all the time.
2. I will not overapologize.
3. I will not blame myself for things that are not my fault.
4. I will not forget to put money in savings.
5. I will not be mean to myself.
6. I will not purchase my weight in used books [without finishing at least a few of the ones I already have first, that is.]
7. I will not abandon hope, nor optimism- and if I do, I will pick them back up.
8. I will not settle for an all-time high of 7 in blog readership – hypothetically. [By extension: I will not allow so much of my creative writing to go unfinished.]
9. I will not leave my 2010 planner pristine and unblemished the way I did my 2009 planner.
10. I will not forget to accept Grace and Love – and will not forget to extend them in gratitude.
I look forward to hearing your goals and resolutions, whether anti- or traditional in nature. In the meantime, I shall charge into the fray to kick complacency and negativity square in their bums, respectively!
Here’s to anti-resolutions, and to all of you.